The Witches - Quentin Blake, Roald Dahl The witches of England have a plan to do away with ALL English children. This little Norwegian orphan boy and his grandmamma come up with a plan to do away with all English witches instead. When they've accomplished that task, the little boy is noticeably altered in size and appearance. He doesn't mind, though. He sets off cheerfully with his grandmamma on a grand tour to rid the entire WORLD of those evil witchy creatures. I've always known there were real witches in the world, because Mrs. Nail, my first grade teacher, was the Queen Witch of the Universe. If only I'd had this book, I could have convinced everyone else I was right about her. If you suspect that someone you know could be a witch, check for the following: 1)They always wear gloves to hide the curvy cat claws they have instead of fingernails. 2)Real witches are always bald as a boiled egg, but they hide it with first-class wigs. The wigs make their bare scalps itch, so watch for head-scratchers. 3)Witches have bigger nose-holes than ordinary folks, the better to sniff out little children with. 4)The pupils of a witch's eyes will keep changing color as you look into them. They'll switch from fire to ice and send a shiver up your spine.5)Witches never have toes. Their feet have square ends. 6)Their spit is blue, like ink.Once you've established that you have a bona fide witch on your hands, it's time to slip some Formula 86 into her food and watch the transformation. Lucky for you, the secret recipe for Formula 86 is right here in this book, courtesy of your friend Roald Dahl. Happy witch hunting!