JAMES BOND: "Oh, Solitaire, I really want to make love to you right now in this hot, cramped compartment on a moving train with someone right outside the door trying to kill me, but---I have this broken finger, you see, which makes sex absolutely out of the question, so I'll have to exploit you at a later date." SOLITAIRE: "Oh, James, I don't mind, because I always dreamed of being kissed exactly the way you just kissed me. And I only met you a couple of days ago, but I wanted to tear my clothes off for you the moment I saw you because I knew you were James Bond 007, even though I've been a prisoner of the Haitians for several years, with no access to information about British spies who are supposed to be top secret." So tell me again, James, which finger is broken? Because unless it's that 11th finger, the one you keep in your trousers, a broken finger is a pretty lame excuse for withholding stud service. These books are trash, but they're entertaining trash---the best kind. This one is especially funny because Ian Fleming chose a U.S. setting. The poor guy didn't know that Americans don't say things like, "I'm really keen to do that." And we don't call our men "chaps." Chaps are what rodeo riders wear. Fleming was about 35 years too early, else he could have learned from Garth Brooks that "It's boots and chaps, it's cowboy hats, it's spurs and latigo/It's the ropes and the reins and the joy and the pain, and they call the thing rodeo." If you really want a good laugh, listen to the audio version of this book, in which the otherwise excellent British narrator has to produce a variety of American accents. His attempts to sound like black people in Harlem are hilarious. Not to disparage him, because I couldn't do any better. But imagine John Wayne in London trying to sound like Sir Laurence Olivier. Similarly awkward. So by now it sounds like I hated this book, but I didn't. I'm just spouting off because it's fun, and no one's gonna read this far into the review anyway. I saw this movie when I was about 10 years old, which I assure you was a very long time ago. Back when penny candy was a nickel. My memory of the film was vague---a lot of cool gadgets, a big scary bad guy, a lot of noise, piranhas, and a kick-ass theme song. I didn't remember the story being about Haitian voodoo, which is a big part of the novel. Having read Wade Davis's The Serpent and the Rainbow, I had to take most of the voodoo stuff here with a grain of salt. Most of what people think they know about voodoo is wrong. I give this 2.5 stars. It was entertaining and action packed, but when it was over I wasn't sure exactly what it was supposed to have accomplished in terms of plot.